Today I decided that it was obvious that my bras need replacing, my daughter informed me hers are getting too small and ratty as well. So, to ensure we got the proper fit, I did a search online for a bra size calculator. Okay, mine are already well on their long trek south, but hers are still residing at home and I’d like to ensure they remain there as long as possible. We all know a good fitting bra helps to keep them from migrating too early.
It seemed a simple enough request – except that I got 155,000 hits. Yes, that’s right: one hundred and fifty-five thousand results; and not one of them appears to be the same or even give the same answer as the others – okay, I didn’t go through all 155,000; but I tried ten of them and the answers all differed.
My daughter is, allegedly, everything from a 32A to 38C (she was a 34C to start with and I can assure you she hasn’t shrunk). I was a 40C; but I am now, apparently, anything from a 36F to a 42DD. I've lost three stone and I know mine aren't inflating themselves; so what’s the answer?
It seems I either just pick one that seems right; write them all on a piece of paper, put them in a hat and pick one out at random; or go through the rigmarole of going to one of those lingerie shops run by smartly dressed schoolmarm types who bark at you.
I remember the horrible embarrassment of going to the well known baby care shop and being measured for a maternity bra many years ago – I felt like a naughty schoolgirl when I got told off for the bra I had at the time.
Frankly, that’s a non starter – I couldn’t go through that again, and I’m certainly not subjecting my very demure daughter to it either. So I went with the one I thought was correct and prayed I was right.
Mind you choosing a bra seems to be a minefield. I buy my bras off E-Bay; it’s very simple – white or black, not underwired and bingo! I pay and they arrive a short time later – new too and very cheap. However, my daughter likes them bought in the shop, which I totally understand. She wanted basic bras to start with – so it wasn’t really any different to what I'd done on E-Bay for myself.
I’d read in a magazine how to measure her (sadly I’ve forgotten that useful piece of information, and the magazine has long since gone to the recycling bin), so I’d done that and off we went. She wanted white, basic and wired – they were all there in a separate little enclave, so we got them, paid and was done. They were, like my E-Bay ones, very cheap too. But now she’s getting older she wants to look at the rest that are on offer, not surprisingly; it’s just there are so many.
I stare in disbelief at the array of bras on offer these days. Back when I was my daughter’s age – there were two types: underwired and not underwired; and two colours: white and black. There was the strapless bra as well, but these were banned at my school as being wholly unsuitable.
These days there’s underwired, not underwired,balconette, plunge, t-shirt, push up, reducer, sports, multiway, strapless, see through straps, detachable straps, and on and on.........
Why? I mean does there have to be this many; in a blinding range of colours and patterns too and all with matching knickers as well? And why are they so expensive - if diamante's are so rare that they cost a few limbs and one vital organ, then why on earth put them on a bra strap? Needless to say we came back empty handed as she couldn't make up her mind, only to tell me - after we'd got home - that she'll stick with basic, wired and white (as before), so guess where we're going tomorrow?
But, as I cursed the different measurement guides and boggled at the different styles, colours, patterns and variations I heard myself saying the one thing I swore I would never say: “you never had all this in my day; back then it was black or white and a basic colour, no design.”
With the start of that one statement I realised, with a sinking heart, I was officially old – God help me, I’ve become my mother. In fact, I could hear her ghost laughing gently in my ear...
This is Simi, thanks for reading.......