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Friday, 30 March 2012

Why losing weight costs you in more ways than one.....

I think what I hate most about losing weight is when you’re in-between sizes; it’s only then that your realise your current clothes are so big they’re now falling off you – which can lead to very embarrassing situations if jeans decide to go with gravity (and defy a belt too).

However, the next size down is so small that you realise the ‘burst sausage’ look is not good on any level. I know this because I had a similar......situation with vey baggy jeans; deeply embarrassing and we will never speak of it again.

So, what to do?  Well, I’ve taken the drastic step of altering a lot of my clothes; as I'm now broke, DIYing is the only option – but it does mean that, should I ever balloon again, then I am basically doing a Lady Godiva as I won’t have any clothes that fit.

On the plus side, at least I now have a few clothes that do fit me; though some need altering again already, as the more weight I lose then obviously they get big again.  But I won’t be changing them any more as even a slight weight increase would leave me up the creek, without the proverbial paddle.

It’s a real shame shops don’t do half or mid sizes – like a 12½ or a 13 rather than just a 12 or a 14.  But I can’t see that ever happening; the only thing changing these days is that models are getting so skinny now that clothing sizes are past zero and heading into minus numbers.

My other bug bear about clothes these days is how to measure myself for a bra.  I’ve tried looking online for a bra size calculator – but there are 11,400 hits and I've tried over twenty of them and every single one arrives at a different answer. I don't even know how that's possible, as the measurements don't change......

I know I should go to one of those proper underwear shops where no nonsense school matron types of women in thick tweed skirts, twin set and pearls, support tights (even in a heatwave) measure you up as if you’re going to need scaffolding and a crane.  

However, you might as well have those; as the bras are built almost the same way, cost the same as the Greek deficit and you feel duty bound to buy one of the horrors as the ladies are so helpful (if a bit bossy).

I know these sorts of bras are the best – completely supportive, boned, robust and fully in control; but it looks like it’s been resurrected from Queen Victoria’s wardrobe, is so restrictive I worry I might forget to breathe (assuming it even let’s me), and I don’t really want to have to go and rob a bank to pay for it (assuming there’s even that much money actually in a bank these days).

I mean yes, it’s the sort of support I need – but, with bits of me sinking southwards faster than Madonna’s bum, I do wonder if I even need to worry these days?  My daughter, yes; she's young and needs to ensure that certain areas don't sag too soon.  

But for  me – not so much; my sagging started long ago and without a block and tackle to hoist it all back into place I've given up.  Of course I know for a fact that my daughter would never wear such a contraption; indeed if I even suggested it she’d probably never speak to me again – such are the joys of being fourteen and not wanting every girl to laugh at you in the PE changing rooms.

In my case I suppose I'll just continue pulling up my jeans and drowning in my t-shirts; I’ll give the so-called official bra calculator another go - even though the way to work out your bra size is like doing alegebra in Swahili and the results are more than a little unbelievable.  As I said, losing weight is great; but dressing yourself whilst you’re doing so is like trying to slam a revolving door - looks fun on paper, but not in the practical attempt.

This is Simi, thanks for reading..........

1 comment:

  1. HAHA! SERIOUSLY! WE are lost twins @ birth, * OH My God, seriously, AWESOME writing ^^GET slap this on the Watt! PDQ!
    I'm jelly..