I got to wondering today why people are so obsessed with vampires? Is it because they offer immortality and permanent youth? Or merely because, to a point, the rules the rest of us live by don’t apply to them?
I mean when you look at the world from a vampire’s point of view you can kind of see their point – they live a lot longer than us, they’re faster than us, more intelligent than us, hear better, see better than us. So you can’t really blame them for seeing us as nothing more than food; all the things I’ve stated about how they view us are reasons I’ve had said to me as to why we eat cattle and pigs, etc. So you could argue that, applying the same criteria to us, then we’re the pork chop or T-Bone steak of the vampire world.
But all that immortality isn’t what it’s cracked up to be, to me anyway. I mean just think about it for a moment – living forever might seem great to begin with; you could do any number of world tours, okay you’d only see the world by night (or in the rain by Twilight standards of vampire), but you could still see all of it, every inch and more than once.
You could study – any number of degrees, doctorates and qualifications you ever wanted; you could wonder at nature wherever you went because you’d see and hear more than any human.
You could read – every book ever written. Languages wouldn’t be a problem you could learn them; even the dumbest student could do it if they had eternity to learn.
Think of the changes you’d witness in history too; the rise and fall of empires, the technological advances, events that will go down in history that you’d witness first hand.
You could become rich; things that were commonplace when you were human would be antiques within a hundred or so years - even things you kept yourself as an immortal would all become antiques over time. The stock markets would be child’s play to someone who had forever to play them. Wealth would be an automatic part of your life eventually, even if not at the start.
It all seems wonderful, I freely admit that; but, look a little deeper and you see why I’d shy away from eternal living. Everything would eventually bore you; how many times can you see the world before it becomes yawn inducing – with eternity before you, you could visit every single millimetre thousands of times; you would get bored.
Also, with eternity to do things why worry about them now? You could do them in ten years and still not be concerned. Time wouldn’t fly in your case; it would drag by, one long drawn out moment after another. Marcus from the Twilight novels is a case in point - certainly he seemed completely devoid of interest in life and it wasn't all grief.
And, at the end of it all, what about love? Vampires have feelings after all; well, most of them anyway – but how to find someone that would accept what you were and, more importantly, join you? Would they baulk at feeding off another person to live, even if they didn’t kill them?
If they didn’t become a vampire like you then you’d be cursed to watch them age and die, before finding yourself alone again. How many times can someone fall in love, lose that love and carry on, find another love, etc before they go mad? What of family, friends, people you care about? Would you ‘turn’ them or merely leave – fake a death or send a letter saying you’ve decided to live the life of a hermit somewhere in Tibet and you’ll never see them again.....only to turn up as your child, grandchild, great grandchild – just to maintain some contact?
Would you be able to keep moving around, only staying a few years in any one place so that people didn’t get too close and question your lack of aging? Would you even bother making friends, etc in the end knowing the heartache it would eventually bring?
Then there’s the cctv; picking up someone obviously being killed by, on camera at least, an invisible attacker would certainly make the headlines. Assuming that particular idea is just a myth, there’s still so many cameras around that’s it’s almost odds on that you’d be seen – again, cue headlines and vampire hunters everywhere. Or, at the very least, the paparazzi - who are, conversely, more the hideous blood sucking ghouls than vampires could ever be.
Blood banks? Well, they’d work I suppose, but you’d have to run the risk of being caught (those cameras again) or having the person you’re paying off for the blood leaking your story to the press anyway.
Bearing all that in mind, I can really see why so many vampires, in the books and movies, get so angsty about their ‘life’. Although I still say they can end it if they’re that depressed about it – sunshine, a stake, all the usual suspects would finish a vampire off I'm sure. But that aside the actual existence would, eventually, become a genuine living hell.
So, would you want to be a vampire? Probably not, right? I didn’t think so; which leaves me asking the question I started this with – why is everyone so obsessed with vampires? Because, honestly, I’m damned if I know; the poor guys have a pretty miserable time of it when you look at the logistics of their long existence.
This is Simi, thanks for reading.......