Why people can't 'suck it up' when it comes to pain......

So today I decided I would ditch the wheelchair and go full on with the walker.  It has a retractable seat, as I think I’ve mentioned, and is very easy to use. Of course, as usual with me, there’s no half measures; no easing into regular walking - no, with me it's all or nothing.  So, as well as trundling around Leek (a small market town we go to) with regular sit downs when my legs threatened strike action, I also took on Rudyard Lake. 

Okay, I didn’t get very far at the lake - but hey, I managed to get a little way along the wall; and my little seat is awesomeness made in scuffed black plastic 'leather'.  My husband and daughter say I did good; they're certainly surprised I managed it without needing the assistance of paramedics to get back to the car.  So what if I walk like a penguin now and that’s only when I can actually force my reluctant limbs to screech a few millimetres in any direction?  But who knows, right now the walker – next year, the London marathon.

Yes, I joke – but I am determined to escape the wheelchair and, ultimately, the walker too; I know it won’t be for long and it won’t be permanent – but my goal is to be completely wheel free by the end of the year and back to volunteering at the dog rescue as a walker (no pun intended) too; even if it's only one dog.

Now, I understand why many people, having read my trials and tribulations with being mobile, will doubt that's possible.  You are not alone; even my own family merely arched an eyebrow when I told them I will be back on my own two feet by Christmas – though they remain completely supportive and nodded vigorously as well as adding, not very convincingly I thought, “of course you will, absolutely”.

Naturally, at this precise moment, everyone’s scepticism is well founded; in fact I’m now so stiff that I’m actually wondering if rigor mortis set in and I just didn’t notice – I tend to worry about staying still, not only because the whole moving again thing is as painful as trying to wrestle a gorilla, but because I’m concerned people might think I’m dead and try to bury me.

I read somewhere that Tom Sobal, a well known snowshoer, once said that “pain is weakness leaving the body”. Of course, that’s not the case; pain isn’t weakness – it’s your body screaming at you “are you mad?!!  What the hell are you doing now?! Stop that and sit down before I make you fall down!”  Or “I am here because you’re ignoring the fact that you’re ill and should see a doctor – go, NOW!”  

Then there's the writer, artist and philosopher, Elbert Hubbard’s idea that “pain is deeper than all thought; laughter is higher than all pain”; which is, unfortunately, seriously flawed.  Sorry Mr Hubbard, but the only thing that’s higher than pain are the pills that kill it.  I speak from experience – you might even say I am a serial killer of pain.

Still, I shall not retreat and I won’t surrender – tomorrow we’re off to a shopping village to go window shopping and I’m taking the walker.  I intend to go as far as I can before I seize up completely; if I don’t blog tomorrow night you know the worst has happened.......I’ve been buried. Oh and if someone tells you to 'suck it up' the next time you're in pain, just tell them there's no straw big enough.

This is Simi, thanks for reading.......